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Poetry: Grainne Humphrys

 

Schizophrenia

Wise as a serpent, my love
Gentle as a dove
You are a hand that gives
A heart that holds
Some pain, some beauty
Some terror, some divinity
Your life is to be lived, my love

Sedation, seduction
Creation, destruction
Rejection, perfection
A new direction
Your medication
Is three tablets a day
Of hope and love and trust

This combination, concoction, finely-tuned cocktail
Of acceptance, receptiveness and openness
To free, share, own and know
The terrible beauty and turbulence of your mind
To own and honour it
Your dangerous gift
To respect it’s impact
To name it, know the facts
Your kaleidoscopic mind, hallucinogenic kind

Delusions, illusions
Relapse, collapse
Inside your shattered self
Is you, gentle as a dove
Full of love
Someone I feel comfortable with
You are blessed with
Heart consciousness
Your open heart
Has helped me to see
Yet you are not free
Living a half-life of corridors
Blocked by major neuroleptics
And sets of keys

Are you fed up being the subject of intense scrutiny
Objectified, petrified
Seperated, feeling persecuted
Isolated
Labeled, when all you want
Is to be cradled
When care becomes control, contain
An inner landscape all of your own
A wild dog you must tame
A dangerous gift you must name
Psychic powers to be reined in
The emotional pain that drives you insane

Schizophrenia, it’s just a word
What does it mean?
Demystify this diagnosis, this life sentence
It is split from reality
Not split personality
It is loaded with bullets of discrimination
Dopamine levels, frontal lobes
Neurotransmitter nonsense

Thinking outside the box
Bizarre behaviour, spiritual saviour
Poetic metaphor to reveal trauma, neglect and conflict
Perception, rejection, projection
What is the meaning of life?
Poet, philosopher
Between the worlds, spirits, ghosts
Do you hear voices?
If you do, do you have choices?
Since when has emotional vulnerability, a strength
Become a chemical imbalance?
A broken heart, sensitivity, fragility
Emotional distress, identity crisis
A crime?